| IBARW: On Making Mistakes |
[10 Aug 2007|09:54pm] |
So here’s a secret: Nobody is perfect. Perfect, in fact, doesn’t exist.
I know this is hard for some of you to hear. White culture in this country relies pretty heavily on feeding us all the myth that perfection is out there, it is in your grasp and you are a failure when you fall short. (Note: saying something is part of white culture does not mean that only white people have/value/are afflicted with something. I’m not saying only white folks are perfectionists. As Tema Okun says “Because we all live in a white supremacy culture, these characteristics show up in the attitudes and behaviors of all of us -- people of color and white people.” For an overview of white culture try this article by Sharon Martinas and for more specifics on how it manifests (including specifics about perfectionism) try this article by Tema Okun)
We all grow up with this myth of perfection, that it’s out there, that it’s within our grasp and that myth is incredibly destructive to nearly all aspects of our lives. For white folks, one of the places that it is particularly destructive is in our attempts to do anti-racist work.
( on making mistakes and taking responsibility )
This is all a process. Making mistakes, being imperfect, isn’t going to magically become comfortable for you. I still spend a good chunk of my time terrified of saying or doing or being the wrong thing and then somehow being tagged as a bad anti-racist white person. It’s important to try. It’s important to lurch messily toward graceful mistake making and owning. It’s important to try to let go of your perfectionism.
You and the people around you will be much happier.
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